I wannas sexs uuuuu
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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