i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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