Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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