I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If that was your dad, he is hot
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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