I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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