You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize