I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
