Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
