apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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