Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
