he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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