Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
