Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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