yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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