You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
