he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
NoShamevember. You game?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
