I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
