oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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