Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
