walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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