they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
