Fuck appropriateness.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize