gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
