took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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