some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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