if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
