Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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