i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
