frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize