How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
