Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
