Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he thought i was a dude.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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