Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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