they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
