just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
