You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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