I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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