When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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