I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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