i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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