he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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