we're chasing vodka with high fives
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
