I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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