I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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