You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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