You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
false alarm. still invincible.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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