She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
