Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
