They should really pass out barf bags in church
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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