There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Drunk is not a location!
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