i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
