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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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