so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
