wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
