If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
