8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
