Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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