That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
