sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
