We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
