its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
