I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Are my feet made of real feet?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
