Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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