You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
