She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
