try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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