this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
