well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
