So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
only if we run a train.
done.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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