woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
