I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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